Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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