And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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