apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
