we're blogging at a bar
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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