well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
