UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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