I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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