omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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