my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My penis needs a shock collar
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize