I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
