moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
