We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize