But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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