i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
