thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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