I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
