pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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