I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
