She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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