why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
