You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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