So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
