2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
whose parrot is this?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
