Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
