i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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