I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just high enough for therapy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?