I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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