oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
