i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you