Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
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not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad