Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.

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(540): View more from Virginia

the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.

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(817): View more from Texas

She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.

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(561): View more from Florida

And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.

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(512): View more from Texas

You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.

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(+41): View more from Switzerland

She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"

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(732): View more from New Jersey

That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer

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(254): View more from Texas

We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you

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