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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Food network will be on but we won't be watching

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  O by "watching" I mean "background noise"

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  that's Oklahoma for you

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future

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• (415): View more from California

  The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!

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• (755): View more from

  You literally chaperoned my booty call.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me

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• (716): View more from New York

  YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA

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