Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she looked like the before picture.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
