dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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