I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
