I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
