I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
