FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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