How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Say something about gay babies.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
