Taylor Swift is so right about you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
