We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize