How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
True college students do jello shots in the library
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
