he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
