When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
