So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
