i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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