And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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