in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
