Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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