Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
