I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
