Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
