It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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