And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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