shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
