I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
