Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
