I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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