i permit you to call me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
