And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
