Is it normal to miss your booty call?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
