absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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