Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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