What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
