haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
