1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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