Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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