Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
not ubering you a puppy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
