she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
