Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
