Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
