my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize