Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
pop tarts are not kleenex
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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