just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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