I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
