i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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