I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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