And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
try to milk me bitch
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
