That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
