I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I could fuck to npr.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
